Today is Robert's birthday. Technically. For me, it is actually in the morning his day starts-- but he is halfway around the world from me right now and his morning sun is already bright in the sky. I sent him an email to wish him a happy day. I have no idea if I will be able to talk to him on this day. I did get the briefest of moments that I was able to IM with him, but it was cut very short by his Internet closing out. This could mean so many things.. but on this day I will only allow it to mean that there was a power surge and they lost Internet connection.
This is not the first time I have spent a birthday without Robert around. Life lessons assure me this wont be my last. However, this is the first time I have had to wonder what a birthday for my husband must be like when he has to wear an armored vest all day and watch where he steps as he carries a grenade launcher and rifle. I will never again complain about how heavy my purse is. This is the first time I cant call him a million times a day and sing to him in my best Marilyn voice and call him birthday boy.
And this is certainly the first time I have had to fear for his actual safety on his birthday. I guess like they say, there is a first time for everything.
And yet-- life goes on. I still have to wake up in the morning and feed the kids and shuttle them off to school. I still have to do the morning rush of activities and afternoon pick up chaos. I will still need to make dinner. And while he will certainly fill my thoughts throughout the day.. life still marches on. As he is so fond of saying-- its just another day.
Such is our life these days.
This is me.. clutching the Zen.
2 comments:
Hey Chickie-hang in there. I think about you often & Robert is in our prayers. I hope you are doing OK. You know where to find me.
Your courage astounds me and today I think I shall never again complain about a heavy purse either. This blog that I am responding to is an old one...I haven't been to your blog before I'm afraid...but I shall return here again and again to be encouraged by your amazing words, attitude and strength my friend. I am beyond thankful for what your husband does for each and every American...and for you "super woman", and your boys, waiting at home to be the sustaining light that he looks forward to holding again...and for a God so great that he put you all exactly where you are suppose to be to fufill His great purpose.
May God hold you close to His heart and may the return of your heroic husband be amazing and wonderful...as I am sure it will be...and may you be richly blessed for all that you do, all that you are and for all whom you have touched in your very special way.
You know I always thought you were special...from that first time I met you in Junior High School and you showed such kindness to me - I was the "new kid on the block". (and I don't mean Marky Mark...but yes - I do know who he is so I must need the walker too!) You continue to bless me and I am thankful that I know you.
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