Play time

If you work from home, just skip this post all together. You are probably experiencing the same thing right now and will nod you head in vicious agreement and say a version of "Amen Sista" to your screen. For the rest of you, I am taking the time to tell you this: working from home is the procrastinators playground. And like a playground, it is open and luring during daylight hours. This is why I tend to write at night, but I am also mildly attached to sleeping, so I really should focus on getting my writing down in the day.  I am on a deadline. I should be head bent working on a piece right now. And I was. Except, I got hungry. I got up to go grab a bite and saw the breakfast dishes needed washing. I took care of them quickly and noticed a smell coming from the garbage disposal. Pour some sanitizer down there and go into the living room and light the candle. Oh look! I meant to put away those socks under the table last night, lean to grab them and notice the dust bunnies under the sofa are breeding again. Go into the laundry room to throw the socks and get the broom and figure throw a load in while I am in there. Go back and sweep under the sofa and then back into the kitchen to prepare my food because by now I am near fainting of hunger. No possible way to write now. Bring my leftover dinner to the desk to multi task and write while eating and notice the wind chimes are outside blowing hard. Better move them before my neighbors complain. While out there, fix the table cloth on the patio table that is flapping in the wind. Come back in and take a bit of food and wander into the kitchen. How could I have forgotten my drink? Back to the desk to sit and ponder my words.
Start, delete, restart.
Stare out the window at the sunlit back yard. Wonder if I should make a planter box out of the kids old beds.. that is green to the core right? What a good mom I would be reusing wood for something family driven. Look up plans on the Internet. Wait.. didn't I have a book about that over here?
Hold on. Focus. Deadline.
Write.
In my blog.

Ladies and gents... the playground is open.
Have you seen my Zen?

Whoosh! goes childhood.

I have had a surreal weekend. I was lucky enough to get the loft bed from my friend  for Robbie's room. He had been wanting one and in my quest to make him feel like the "big kid" he is, I snatched up the bed. It is an Ikea bed. Ikea is great, but you need a degree in astro physics to put together anything from there. After SEVERAL false starts. restarts, tear apart and realignments, we got the bed up. Then we took down all his "little kid' posters and put up flags he wanted and new posters. He got flags from Mexico, Scotland, Sweden and Ireland plus some posters of bands he likes. We went to Staples and got desks for his room. Also, Kohl's had a sale for over sized floor pillows, and I got one. So we created a room for Robbie that is very" big kid." For lack of another term. Lost are all the small child things he once had. His dinosaurs are tucked away in the closet. The very one's he would line up in a line outside of his room for protection when he was scared. He moved all the toys into the loft area. He is a 4th grader now, he informs me when I drop them off at school. He won't let me walk him to his playground, and instead says good bye in front of the car and branches off from me and AJ and goes the opposite way.. the big kid playground way. My heart hurts. This is my little red head who followed me around. This is the little guy who sat for hours in the sand box, playing with his cars.  This is the little one who would bring a chair up to the counter to watch me make him play dough. Now, he wears deodorant and has a loft bed. Where did the time go? And why did it go so fast?

However, this morning, before school there a moment. I was pouring my coffee and he put 2 waffles in the toaster, then went to do his hair.When they popped up, he was still gone so I went over and cut up the waffles in triangles and arranged them on his plate like I used to when he really was a little guy: in tee pee shapes and formation. Then I drizzled syrup around them like meandering rivers. Once upon a time, this used to make him so happy, so filled with excitement. He came out of the bathroom and looked at the plate and said "aww mama... you made tee pees and rivers for me! Thanks mama!"  And threw his arms around me. And in that moment... my heart healed. Even if just for the moment. Then in a flash, he was the big kid again.

I think I am gonna go line up Robbie's dinosaurs in a line outside my room.

Hey! What's this weird thing on my car?

I have road rage. I don't mean to, it just happens. Everyday. But I really shouldn't. It is an avoidable situation. I admit I am a fast (er) driver than most, but I don't think my driving skills are any different than others. Here is the main point in my driving that I find that many.. MANY.. others lack.

I use my mirrors.
I look in them often.

If I see, say, a LINE of people  forming in back of me I say to myself  'Why Self.. it looks like these people might be going faster than you so perhaps you should move over to the less fast lane and let them pass!" I then use said mirrors and move aside. What I find so impossible to understand is why it seems such a foreign thing for other people to do the same thing. I can not tell you how many times I have been stuck behind a slow driver going (ack!) the speed limit in the fast lane of the freeway. Daydreaming about what to eat for dinner, talking on the phone, happily looking at the scenery, none should be done from the fast lane. If you feel the need to conserve gas, avoid tickets, .. whatever.. please do it in the slow lane. If I get a ticket on my way to the next gas station, that is my business. But sitting in the lane, scooting along at a snails pace, building a long line for miles behind you is just rude. And I can't help but wonder.... who are these people in real life? Do they ever notice situations around them? Do they go to the grocery, park in the middle of the aisle as they walk away to grab an item? Do they stand at the checkout of the store and text people while a line awaits behind them? Are these the same people who balance their checkbook in the kiss and go line at the kids school? Just where did these people learn manners?? Cuz lets face it.. that's what it boils down to. Being aware of others beside yourself.  In my opinion, most problems can be solved this way. Plus it is very zen.

Mirrors: not just a shiny ornament anymore!!

Road Rage: a thing of the past if mirrors are used correctly.

Holy Hair Batman

I have curly hair. Or wavy. Or straight. I have about $500 worth of product under and over my sink to make my hair be whatever I choose it to be that day.. all while looking natural. Of course, if I let my hair air dry from the shower on any given day, it would be curly. I hate it. I have to put extra goo on it to tame it. You know how you hear stories of old men sitting on a porch and they are able to tell the upcoming weather by how their knees hurt? That's me.. but with hair. I can spend an hour in my climate controled bathroom straightening it, making it shine and look silky, then walk outside to a humid day and it acts like a spring board. Insta curls.
Today, I went for some much needed girl time with.. well.. the girls. When we gathered in the local park to eat our lunches, we were basking in the sun. My hair was straightened and blowing softly in the wind, and in my mind, I am sure looking very modelisque and elegnat. However, the sun soon went to hide behind clouds and as the day grew darker with the swollen clouds, my hair inched its way up my head. Currently, even my bangs are in a wavy motion. It is ridiculous. Why do I fight it you ask? Because its not always curly! If the weather is warm, it is limp and drab. If the weather is wet or humid, its wicked curly. If it's a "normal" California day, it borders on wavy. It's enough to make your head hurt.. the constant watching of the weather to dictate how you will wear your hair. I envy the straight haired friends of mine with their glorious long constant straight hair, regardless of the shift in weather.
Oh look! It's must be calling for rain, my hair just switched to wicked curly. I'll be on the porch with the old men....

Look! There goes childhood whooshing by!

Recently, Robbie came downstairs singing a merry little tune that I instantly recognized. I was astounded that he was singing an old song that I have heard countless times without paying attention to it, but he obviously had. It's an oldy but a goody, he came down the stairs singing an old Kenny Rogers song, Lucille. In it, there is a line that says..

"You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille, with 4 hungry children and a crop in the fields."

However, the red head came down singing a much better version...

"You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille, with 400 children and a crop in the fields" ... (snicker) The best part is when he looked at me sincerely and said "That's a lot of kids!". Precious!

It reminds me of the all the things they do that are innocent and pure, that are quickly changing. Austin used to have trouble with the sound "c" so he decided the replacement of "t" would suit him better. Years of saying "where's the blue tar? I want tandy please. I don't like take for my birthday." used to bring a smile to my face. Those days are gone now and all I hear is the latest slang coming out of their precious mouths. "My bad. That's sic. What up??" I miss the innocence and it saddens me it is robbed from them so quickly. They are in such a hurry to grow up! And that's OK for the most part. But days like today, well.. I miss my very little boys.

You really did pick a fine time to leave me Lucille....