Whoosh! goes childhood.

I have had a surreal weekend. I was lucky enough to get the loft bed from my friend  for Robbie's room. He had been wanting one and in my quest to make him feel like the "big kid" he is, I snatched up the bed. It is an Ikea bed. Ikea is great, but you need a degree in astro physics to put together anything from there. After SEVERAL false starts. restarts, tear apart and realignments, we got the bed up. Then we took down all his "little kid' posters and put up flags he wanted and new posters. He got flags from Mexico, Scotland, Sweden and Ireland plus some posters of bands he likes. We went to Staples and got desks for his room. Also, Kohl's had a sale for over sized floor pillows, and I got one. So we created a room for Robbie that is very" big kid." For lack of another term. Lost are all the small child things he once had. His dinosaurs are tucked away in the closet. The very one's he would line up in a line outside of his room for protection when he was scared. He moved all the toys into the loft area. He is a 4th grader now, he informs me when I drop them off at school. He won't let me walk him to his playground, and instead says good bye in front of the car and branches off from me and AJ and goes the opposite way.. the big kid playground way. My heart hurts. This is my little red head who followed me around. This is the little guy who sat for hours in the sand box, playing with his cars.  This is the little one who would bring a chair up to the counter to watch me make him play dough. Now, he wears deodorant and has a loft bed. Where did the time go? And why did it go so fast?

However, this morning, before school there a moment. I was pouring my coffee and he put 2 waffles in the toaster, then went to do his hair.When they popped up, he was still gone so I went over and cut up the waffles in triangles and arranged them on his plate like I used to when he really was a little guy: in tee pee shapes and formation. Then I drizzled syrup around them like meandering rivers. Once upon a time, this used to make him so happy, so filled with excitement. He came out of the bathroom and looked at the plate and said "aww mama... you made tee pees and rivers for me! Thanks mama!"  And threw his arms around me. And in that moment... my heart healed. Even if just for the moment. Then in a flash, he was the big kid again.

I think I am gonna go line up Robbie's dinosaurs in a line outside my room.