Tell me Rude People.. how do you all synchronize the day that you will all come out? Is there some special Bat Signal which shows itself only to those who wear the red badge of R on their chests? Do you have a special date set aside of every month where you all trollop through the world together.. reaping havoc? There has to be something.. it seems too coincidental that you all just decide TODAY is the day I want to piss off the world.
Today is that day here. Take for instance, the woman in the supermarket today-- who -- with two very good eyes -- saw me holding my hand out for my 5 year old son to grab hold of and assumed that in fact I had created the prefect area for her to push her way through. Never mind the 5 year old pushed to the side. What is more important is that you, dear woman, got to get to the rows and rows of shopping carts before I did. There was such a danger that I might take all of them to shop with, leaving you to walk around and hold your own items.
And then there is that man at my 6 year old's school, we can't leave him out. Although.. frankly, he is wicked rude everyday-- no special days set aside for him. He must be the grand poobah of rudeness. I bet if we asked him, he would show us his R badge. The Grand Poobah was in front of me driving into the parking lot. He passed a parking spot and decided he wanted it, so he put it in reverse.. and proceeded to floor it backwards PAST the parking spot and two others to pull into the one closest to me. Why? Grand Poobah, I suppose there was a reason for you to create a dangerous circumstance at an elementary school.. I am sure you were perfectly justified in starting a traffic jam that went on to annoy a huge scale of mothers. Those of us damned with manners just cant seem to see it. Could you enlighten us?
I suppose it is no far fetched surprise that today in the paper a list of the rudest cities came out. Ours hit number 10. ( I have been to number 2. I quickly ran home to my humble number 10 home. ) I wonder if people read it and in a surge to rise us higher on the list, came out in full force today-- trying desperately for a recount. Obviously, my sarcasm that drips in cynicism directly derives from this. So perhaps I am doing my part to push us up on the list.. but after encountering the many card carrying members today.. I don't think they are going to ask me into their secret club anytime soon. So, for now, I will keep my eyes focused upwards in search of a bat signal... and my sarcastic comments at the edge of my tongue.
4 comments:
To the pusher-of-children in the grocery store..."Um excuse me, you seem to have dropped your manners in the produce section..."
Urgh! It's true, they do all seem to show up at once! At least you can turn it into entertainment for us to read!
Don't you just want to ask, "Where do they find them, and WHY do they send them TO ME?!"
Thanks for writing this.
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