A little ditty about bleach...

So I know I promised I would avoid the blow by blows on cleaning products, but it must be said that my laundry day today warrants being talked about. If for no other purpose than to make all feel relieved, nay-- scratch that-- over come, with joy that they do not live in my house.
Today is laundry day. It is one of the chores that I frequently try to avoid until my OCD kicks in. The sorting, the changing loads, folding, putting away.. all trivial bits that annoy me. However, of them all-- the one that takes the place in the prime spot for me is the actually washing of the Whites. I detest the Whites. I have actually, in desperate times, been known to simply run up to Target with my friend in tow (and laughing) to BUY more socks rather than actually placing a load of whites socks and such in the washer. (and to clarify.. I actually have done this for jeans as well-- which ranks in 2nd place of least favorite load to wash)
Anyhow-- back to the whites. So, today-- I was inspired to do them without a fuss. So, I got the water going and started to put them in to the wash, when suddenly, I felt a vibration JUST as I was letting them fall into the water. A sickening feeling overcame me-- was that my cell phone laying in the soapy abyss? I start panicking on this one.. I mean.. its my phone! I have all the numbers saved into it!! And while there is some discussion about how I don't ever answer my phone.. I still have the option to if I have it!! So I do the natural thing here.. I reached in and started pulling out the whites in a mad scramble to save the cell phone. I am tearing at these things, feeling deep into the basin for the metal of the phone. But the water keeps adding in and right about now seemed a good spot for the bleach to enter into the picture. So from this side is the bleach pouring out-- the other side, the water is still going full force and I am screaming words that my mother would blush at the thought of; all the while, yanking and pulling wet, thick, heavy items of soiled clothing. Here might be a good place to let you all know that I keep my laundry room in the garage... my car and the washer live happily in there together on most days. Today however, I had pulled in too close to the washer side with my car and so it made actually getting IN to the washer more difficult. Hence making my next decision seem sensible at the time. This is where I decided to grab the clothes in the washer and pull them OUT of the washer -- all in my quest to find my phone. So, I am pulling out my wet, bleach watered clothes and throwing them sopping wet on to the floor of the garage.. and still, cant find this tiny little phone... and I am looking. I am in tears with frustration. And NOW, the front of my pretty blue shirt and jeans are soaking wet-- and turning a brilliant shade of white.
I now have all the clothes out of the washer, still no phone.. and I am rifling thru the heap on the ground and my kids are staring at me like I am some sort of reality show reject.. and that is when.. I heard the soft sound of the ring tone of my cell-- INSIDE the house. I get up and look, and there is my pretty bright pink razor-- sitting dryly on the table.
And this is why I am just going to go to Target for the blasted socks next time.